By Anthony Hamilton
Would you like to be happier?
Would you like to be more successful?
Whenever I ask people these two questions, as I have done
many times over the past 35 years, I find that virtually everyone's answers are
the same; a resounding, "Yes, of course! Who wouldn't?"
If I then follow these questions up with another question,
such as, "What would it take for you to be happier?" I generally
receive a response like, "More money", "More peace of
mind", "More time off work", or perhaps a response like, "A
better relationship" or better 'job', 'salary' or 'body' etc.
The thought process behind these answers reveals a
fundamental pattern which seems to be true of pretty well everyone, namely the
idea that for us to be happier, we need something else, specifically more
success, either in our finances, in our relationships, in our health or in any
other area of our lives. This thought pattern reveals a fundamental aspect of
virtually everyone's beliefs about the way life works. Namely, that more
success leads to more happiness.
This basic concept, that more success) leads to more
happiness seems so self-evident that we seldom question it. Indeed, we never
even notice that we are thinking this way. But this attitude is what author
Jack Canfield, of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series of books,
calls, "living on 'Someday Isle'.
In other words, as Canfield says, we tell ourselves,
"Someday I'll have more money." Or "Someday I'll have better
health." Or "Someday I'll have the right relationship." Or,
"Someday I'll lose that ten pounds." The implication with this line
of thinking is the same; the basic belief that "When I get the success I
want I will be happy.
But is this line of thinking really true? Does more success
really lead to more happiness?
"Not at all." says Shawn Achor, author of the
best-selling book, "The Happiness Advantage" (Crown Publishing, New
York, 2010).
Trained by some of the pioneers in the new discipline of
Positive Psychology, Achor helped design and teach the famed
"Happiness" course, for years the most popular course at Harvard.
Since then, (according to his on-line biography), he has spoken at or worked
with over a third of Fortune 100 companies and his TED talk is one of the most
popular of all time, with over 13 million views.
The front flap of his book reads, "Conventional wisdom
holds that if we work hard, we will be more successful, and if we are more
successful, then we'll be happy. But recent discoveries in the field of
positive psychology have shown that this formula is actually backward."
He explains that when we are positive, our brains become
more engaged, creative, motivated, energetic, resilient, and productive at
work. This discovery has been borne out by rigorous research in psychology and
neuroscience. It has also been proven true in the boardrooms and on the bottom
lines of organizations around the globe.
This change in thinking echoes the transformation that
followed the reversal of the conventional belief that the sun revolved around
the earth. According to Achor, this new discovery that conventional thinking is
backward and that it is happiness which leads to success and not the other way
round, promises to be as earth shaking and life transforming in its impact.
However, this recent bit of scientific knowledge which is a
result of recent brain scanning research, is not the only evidence that our
previous ideas about the human condition are wrong that has come to light in
the last couple of decades. Just as profound and potentially earth shaking is
the recent discovery (also using brain imaging technology) that the structure
of our brains, which was long believed to be fixed and unchangeable, is
actually plastic and continually changes throughout the course of our lives.
Although some of the new ideas about our brains seem like
common sense, others are a little harder to grasp. For example, the proof that
when a person learns to play the piano, certain parts of the brain undergo
measurable changes, seems, upon reflection, to be quite reasonable. After all,
we know that the nerves which move the fingers have connections to specific
areas of the brain, so the fact that these areas of the brain would grow
through endless repetitive piano exercises, like a person building his biceps
by lifting weights, seems eminently reasonable.
But how about feeling happy? Does practicing feeling happy
produce changes in the brain as well?
In a word, writes Achor, "Yes".
Furthermore, there seems to be no limit to how far these
changes can go. Numerous studies have confirmed many ways we can permanently
raise our happiness baseline and adopt a more positive mindset simply by doing
certain kinds of thought exercises.
And Achor is not the only author writing about this
discovery. According to Sharon Begley, author of "Train Your Mind, Change
Your Brain", (Ballantine Books, New York, 2007) the long held scientific
dogma that the brain was forever fixed and unchangeable, implied that one's
'happiness set point', which is the level of happiness to which one returned
after experiencing a deep tragedy or a great joy was as unalterable as the
earth's orbit. However it now appears that our 'happiness set point' can be
altered quite easily. And when we re-set it, it remains the new baseline for
happiness long into the future.
Here is a key idea which most people simply miss; that an
individual's personal inner world of emotions, feelings and self-talk, and her
outer world of observations, experiences and conscious reasoning are linked.
After all, is not the nervous system responsible for your feelings of happiness
or unhappiness, optimism or pessimism, not the same nervous system which is
responsible for other cognitive functions as well?
We all have noticed that when we are feeling down, our
perceptions of the world are negative too. We not only feel low. We also feel
that our goals and desires are less attainable. We feel that opportunities are
eluding us. We tell ourselves that life is becoming more difficult. On the
other hand, when we are feeling optimistic, we not only feel more positive, we
will also see more opportunities for positive results in the world. We not only
feel that our dreams and goals are attainable, we can actually see more
opportunities in the outer world. How many popular songs have been written on
the same theme; that when we are in love, the sun seems to shine a lot more
frequently.
Therefor it follows, according to Begley and Achor, that
when we re-set out happiness set point, we not only recover from set-backs more
quickly and perceive negative results in a more positive light, but we also
feel better and more optimistic about the world in general. When our brains
change, we begin to actually see more opportunities for success and
satisfaction in the external world. What the findings of this new research is
showing us, is that when we re-set our inner happiness set point, our outer
world undergoes a positive shift too. For all of us who have harbored the
desire to change the world, this new information shows us that it might
actually be possible. While we might not be able to change someone else's
world, we can indeed change our own.
So how do we re-set out happiness set point? It is amazingly
easy. All we need to do is to practice FEELING happy for a few minutes a day on
a regular basis. They say nothing succeeds like success. And nothing attracts
more opportunities for success and happiness than an inner feeling of happiness
and well-being.
If you want to reset your own 'happiness set-point, try this
simple exercise:
- On a sheet of paper, write down a small number (five or
six is enough) of what I call, "Past Successes". These are simply
events from the past which we consider to be positive successes. And here's the
thing; they don't need to be huge successes. Simple successes like getting your
driver's licence, learning to bowl or baking an amazing chocolate cake are
perfect. Here's the key: does remembering this past event make you to FEEL
happier and more successful? If the answer is 'yes', write it down on your
'Past Successes List'.
- Read this list over every day for five minutes. While you
do this, actually FEEL the feelings of happiness and success in your body. You
might want to do this exercise while listening to a favorite piece of relaxing
music. As you read your list, make an effort to really FEEL the feelings in
your body. As you think of other past successes (And you will.) add them to
your list.
- Repeat this exercise each day for four to six weeks.
Scientific experiments have conclusively shown that over this period of time,
actual, physical changes in the brain are measurable.
- Keep a simple diary of how this exercise is affecting not
only your inner world of thoughts and feelings, but also note any observations
of successful events in the outer world. Expect your world to shift and it
will
Is there any limit to how far one can take this brain
training exercise? According to Achor, there doesn't seem to be. As he writes,
"The point is, we do not know the limits of human potential. Just as we
can't know the limit for how fast a human can run or swim or how high a person
can jump, we still don't know the limits of our brain's enormous potential to
grow and adapt to changing circumstances. All we know is that this kind of
change is possible."
